I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
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we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
In other news, I just burned my penis
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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