everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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