everyone is single if you try hard enough
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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