yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
