Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
