If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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