i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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