I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
