we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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