wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
