If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
