She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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