booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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