If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize