I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
