508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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