some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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