I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
