Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
