the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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