No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
