I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my shit smells like andre
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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