well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
