the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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