Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
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I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
His nipple licking is glorious
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