it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
