So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
