My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
