Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
