Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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