there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
