Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
