My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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