Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
