I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
