I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i think i have two assholes
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize