That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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