Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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