So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
