So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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