Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Are my feet made of real feet?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
