if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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