i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
