There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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