my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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