Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
