It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
