HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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