ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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