Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
