How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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