Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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