im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize