At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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