I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
