I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
