I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
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I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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