OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
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There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
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I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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