That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
