i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
