Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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